Thankfulness....

1 Thessalonians 5:13-24

Live in peace with one another. We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone. See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people. Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit; do not despise prophetic utterances. But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil.
      Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.

There are certain things in this portion of scripture that stand out to me right now. Be thankful in everything and faithful is He who calls me, He also will bring it to pass.
I had another Dr's appointment today to go over the results of the ultrasound. Yesterday morning began with me feeling fine and then all of a sudden, I felt really sick. I ran to the bathroom and ended up ridding myself of anything that was in my stomach! I have felt nausea for about 5 days now off and on. I am still really tired through the day too. These two things seem very strange to be feeling if I have had a miscarriage. On the other hand, I am not an expert. I have no idea how long it takes for hormones to settle back down.
I decided to ask my Dr about it. He said,

"I think we need to do another pregnancy test today.  I don't want to get your hopes up unnecessarily, but I don't want to disregard how you are feeling either. There was a sac seen on the ultrasound in the clotting. Nothing was seen in the sac, but it is possible that the conclusion of the ultrasound was wrong. It has happened before, where we have thought that there had been a miscarriage because of the bleeding and a few weeks later through a second ultrasound, there is a baby seen. It is possible that it was just too early. If in a few weeks you are still feeling these symptoms, we will repeat the pregnancy test. if it is positive still, we will repeat the ultrasound and see what it shows."

I feel excitement stirring again. Really? Could this possibly be true? I wondered last night if the ultrasound could have been just too early, and this morning a friend asked me if that was a possibility.
I did the pregnancy test again today and it still says positive.
I feel thankfulness. Thankfulness for every moment that I have with my kids.....all of them. In everything I will give thanks, and I know my God will be faithful to me no matter how this goes. Stay tuned!

When the rain falls......

March 3, 2011

Bring the Rain - Mercy Me

"I know there'll be days when this life brings me pain, but if that's what it takes to praise You,
Jesus bring the rain" An excerpt from the song above. I am still going to praise Him no matter what life throws at me.

Baby #8 is now in Heaven........my heart has had very little time to adjust to this.
I have been having some strange bleeding issues and decided to go to the dr this morning to try and get it figured out.  My doctor asked if I was pregnant. I said I didn't think so, the bleeding had been going on for about a month now. I have been tired, but thought it was maybe due to lower iron. He said well first let's get a pregnancy test done. So I headed off to the little girls room with my purple cup in hand and the excitement stirring in my heart for what might possibly be happening.
I went back into the office when I was done and my doctor returned. The test was positive!!! My heart skipped a beat. Really? Really, really? WOW! Congratulations were given from all at the office as my heart filled with warm mushiness.  I could hardly wait to get home to tell Greg. I got in the car and thanked God for this little life.
Now because of not knowing a date of my LMP (sometime in Jan, putting me at about 5 or 6 weeks) for sure, my doctor wanted an ultrasound done A.S.A.P.
They booked me in for an ultrasound at 4:15.
We managed to scramble up a babysitter for the kids because Greg wanted to come with me and I am so glad he did. We didn't want to tell the kids anything just yet so we spent a day with just the two of us and Ellie (we jokingly called the baby that because the news of this pregnancy was the white elephant in the room)
We went in to the ultrasound room and the end result of it all was, we were told that I am in the midst of another miscarriage.
In such a short time, we started to dream and hope for this baby. I didn't realize just how quickly that part of being a parent kicks in. We have never dealt with miscarriage after only knowing of the baby's existence for a day. This has kind of been a sucker punch day. I still am not quite sure what to think, it is such a whirlwind of emotions. I am once again waiting for nature to "take it's course." 
Hopefully it will be done soon. I do not want another D&C.
I am resting in His arms tonight and I am very thankful for His love to carry me.

"I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)

Never fear.....God is here!

You may chuckle at the title, but is is so true. God has never failed us.
There are so many times where I have had no idea how the little bit of money we had went as far as it did. It was a very supernatural thing. I am thankful for people who obey God's promptings too.
We were well looked after throughout the time Greg was sick and recovering from each of his surgeries (stories to follow).
With a new baby on the way, there were things we still needed to buy, things we had no money to buy.
Here is a write up of some of the blessings we received. I don't share these things to brag, but to show you that when you are in need, God is faithful. Always trust, stay positive, believe that He will provide what you need when you need it.
Checking the mailbox became a more interesting thing to do because every once in awhile, there was a cheque waiting there for us. Sometimes from someone we knew, sometimes we didn't have a clue who the person was, but God had laid it on their heart to send us something.
We would be getting low on groceries and there would be a knock at our door. Someone would show up with bags of groceries.
The mom's group at a local church called and said that they had talked and decided they wanted to help us out. They brought over a huge load of groceries including diapers, wipes and various baby necessities.
We won a hamper drawing through the cancer clinic.
We were selected by Farm Credit to be the sponsored family for christmas. They showed up with groceries, baby things, presents and some money.
A man approached our pastor and said he wanted to give some money at christmas time to a family in the church and asked if our pastor knew anyone. Our pastor told him of some families, us included. The man said he knew immediately that we were who he wanted to bless and he told our pastor to pass on the message that we were to use the money wherever we needed it and he wanted us to have a merry christmas.
Many friends and family gave to us financially to help meet our living costs and medical travel costs during that time.
The people my mom works with surprised her one day with a roomful of groceries for us. They had been collecting food for months. When they came to bring them in, it was literally a minivan full of food and necessities. Our little cupboards were full and overflowing.
The Kinsmen organization helped us twice with travel costs and daily expenses of being away from home. (GIVE TO TELEMIRACLE!!!!)
When we were on flights to go for surgeries for Greg or come home after them, we were upgraded for free a few times. The extra room was much appreciated when Greg was so uncomfortable sitting for long.
Our flight was delayed in Minneapolis once and so we were given lunch on the airport.
Friends and family helping us move to our new house (twice). The first time we were scheduled to be in Rochester for Greg's surgery the day of the move. Our friends and family got together and handled it all for us. Every detail was worked out and my mom even managed to get some unpacking done for me so I wouldn't have so much to do when we came home.
My mom said, "Some people will do anything to get out of having to move their things!"
We were blessed with meals brought to our door.
At Greg's last surgery, they would not let him leave the hospital without the antibiotics he was on. The problem was they were I.V. antibiotics that I had to give Greg through a PIC line in his arm. In order to travel with them, the medication had to be in these pressurized little chambers that would release the medication over a period of 15 to 20 minutes. The antibiotics in the pressurized chambers came to just over $300. We did not have $300 to pay for them before leaving the hospital. It was a long process with many phone calls back and forth between Sask Health and the Mayo Clinic. Sask Health would not pay for meds prescribed upon discharge from the hospital. There was a charitable organization affiliated with the hospital there in Rochester that stepped up to the plate and covered the cost of the meds for us.
Once we pulled into the gas station to get gas and a man who we knew, but not very well, paid for our gas before we got in to pay for it.
There were so many more things as well, I am sure I am leaving some out.
My heart is full and overflowing with gratitude........