My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:15,16

Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"
John 11:40
See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands… Isaiah 49:16a

Monday, May 23, 2011

Much change in so little time

It is so funny how even after all the unpredictability of life we have seen so far, we still have moments of "Oh my goodness, what now? Does God really know what He is doing here? Does He realize how ill-equipped I feel to do this?" Why can we just not immediately trust that His plan IS perfect.
Greg and I are going to be grandparents in November. We found out in March that our oldest daughter Kiara is pregnant. She is due on November 18th. When she first found out, she was very scared and did not think she was ready for this new step in life. We assured her that there are many things much worse than having a baby at her age and that we would be here for her. Kiara asked us about some options and to be honest, the very thought of them did not sit well with me at all. Abortion was not an option as far as we were concerned and adoption, well, Greg told her that if she felt she was not ready or couldn't handle it, that we would raise the baby instead. I felt a little scared myself at first, but I began to try and picture what life would be like in 9 months if that were to happen. I decided that whatever the outcome, God knew ahead of time what it will be.
I felt a stir of excitement that maybe this was the reason I kept feeling we were going to have another baby.

I have to confess that at that moment I also started to have hopes and dreams for this new little family member. I never want this baby to experience even a moment of feeling that he/she is a mistake, unwelcome or unwanted. I want him/her to know that no matter what he/she is loved by us all. Even though this was not the future Kiara had planned for herself at this point, God has a plan and a purpose for this little life and we will be there wherever we are needed.

Kiara moved home again to live with us at the beginning of April. It has been a big change having another person in the house again but we have had many laughs. She has decided that she is going to keep the baby and raise it on her own (Unsure at this point of the involvement of the father) with love and support from us.
Emotions run a little high for me some days. I have my moments of thinking that maybe God has forgotten all we have been through in the past year. Why else would this have dropped into our lives at this point.
Then I remind myself how silly it is to doubt His perfect plan.  I am very excited about the little life that is growing in our home and I know that the coming months, though not ideal for everyone involved, will bring overwhelming joy to Kiara's heart and ours. We love you little one.

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