This is all part of something that is so much greater that just me and our family. We are an intricate part of a larger, very detailed, well thought out plan of an infinitely loving God, Who will never leave me nor forsake me.
These last couple of days the feeling of helplessness and being out of control in this situation is gone. I do not mean that I am the one in control, but that there is One who is much better at handling the panning of my life than I. I rest in hope and confidence in Him. I was reading Psalms last night. There are so many times David, like me, called out to God to save him and every time God was there.
I heard this song tonight called Hope Now. The lyrics really spoke to my heart.
It says, "If everything comes down to Love, then just what am I afraid of?
When I call out your name, something inside awakes in my soul.
How quickly I forget I'm Yours. I'm not my own, I've been carried by You all my life.
When the world has broken me down, Your love sets me free...
Everything rides on hope now, everything rides on faith somehow."
How very true that it all comes down to His love and hope and faith now. That is what life is about.
That is what Zoe's life was and is about. There is no "What purpose did her short life serve", there will be no why's answered here, and even if there were, it does not change anything. She awaits me in a place where I don't have to worry about her. She and my other babies are very well cared for by their Heavenly Father. I will be with them one day and until then I have peace ( and yes tears). I will love, I will hold onto hope and have faith.....even still my Jesus is the same.
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