It has now been almost 3 weeks since we had the ultrasound that told us I was having a miscarriage. The fact that my pregnancy tests are still coming out with a positive result is a good sign as far as I know.
I feel hope-full. Tomorrow I am expecting to be sent for an ultrasound to see a little heartbeat.
I have really been enjoying the new book I am reading...
One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp
I am thankful for so many things in my life. Through all the "hard" things people have to face, there IS always something to be grateful for. Always. In reading this book it has challenged me to think more about what exactly I am thankful for. To name those things and take them as gifts. So, a new fresh page in my journal will be turned soon and I will start to fill the crisp lines with all the things I can think of that I am thankful for.
It makes my heart happy, I am in anticipation of the joy that will fill my heart as I name them.
Today as I was reading, I realized that what Ann is talking about is very true. Joy is found in thankfulness. I started to think back over the months following Zoe's birth. Zoe's actual due date was a turning point for me in how I felt about her death. I have had much more peace and contentment and yes, even joy when I think about her since that day. I didn't know how it had happened, or why, but Ann brought it to light. (Thank you Ann)
As I sat in the hotel room and rested in His peace on her due date, I was amazed at how the devastation and emptiness seemed easier to bear on that day. Why? I believe it is because in the days surrounding her due date, I began to be thankful for the time I did have with her. I mean really thankful, deep down in my heart. That thankfulness ushered in joy and peace. Hmmmmmm.....wow.
So many people have recommended Ann's blog and her book to me.
okay, I was simply not listening to the prompting of my Heavenly Daddy as quickly as I should have. SOOOOO finally what does my wonderful, loving Daddy do? He gets one of His other beautiful daughters (who was listening and acting a little quicker than I ) to give me one!! Thank you Juanita for your help in opening my ears. You are on my list of grateful fors. You are a blessing.
Anyway, on that note, tomorrow I go in to see my Dr with a thank-full heart, knowing Jesus is the same, yesterday, today and forever.
I was not able to get in to see the Dr. today....his office was closed until tomorrow. Good one God, lol. I laughed when I called in and the message said that. "Have patience Michelle," is what I hear!
Well, I went to see my Dr this morning and the test is still "very positive." He said this is very good and he is very happy and hopeful about this. I have an ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday morning 9:30a.m. The kids are so excited and so are we!!!!!! I determine not to have an internal fit of carnality (adult temper tantrum) and impatience while I wait for tuesday to come!