My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:15,16

Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"
John 11:40
See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands… Isaiah 49:16a

Thursday, January 20, 2011

To my sweet babies....

I have been asked to share the stories of my three other babies in heaven so I am going to type what I have written in their memory album. I also wrote two letters to them in the summer of 2005 as well, the year I made the memory album. I would like to post them too
Here is the first....

To my sweet babies,
Oh how mommy loves you and misses you! My time with you was too short. I was not able to give you even one kiss or hug, but my love for you is still deep in my heart.
Although I grieve our separation, I know that your Heavenly Father is caring for you now in a much better place than here. I want you to know that I think of you so often and I look forward to the day when I will meet you face to face. Your memory album is done in rainbow colors. I chose this because every time I see a rainbow, I think of you in heaven and am reminded of God's promise to me.

You were our first baby born into heaven after being part of our lives for only 6 weeks. You have been in Heaven for about six years now.  At first we called you Sunshine, and we used to sing "You Are My Sunshine" to you every day.  You were named Asa David after daddy two grandpas.  What a wonderful surprise you were to us, in your brief appearance in our lives. Your little sister Jinny now talks about you and knows she has two brothers and a sister in Heaven.  Give them a hug and kiss from mommy and daddy.


Our precious daughter, we were so looking forward to having you join our family.  I found out I was expecting you shortly after your brother went to Heaven. We rejoiced several days later when we saw your tiny heartbeat flickering on the ultrasound screen.  What a miracle. You were alive and growing inside me.
Then we found out you had gone to heaven, I was four and a half months pregnant. I felt as if a part of me had died with you.  You have been in heaven for about five and a half years now.  We named you April Iris. That is the month you went to be with Jesus and the night we said goodbye to you, it seemed to fit.  Right before I went in to have the D&C after we found out you were gone, daddy brought me a little ring from the gift shop that had your birthstone in it.  It was a beautiful, diamond-like stone. I knew you were now in Heaven shining like the brightest diamond.  We chose Iris because it is your Nana's name and also it means rainbow.  I had never seen a double rainbow before in my life and the day you went to be with Jesus, there was a double rainbow in the sky. It was one of the most beautiful things I had seen.  I know that now you and your brothers are smiling on us from Heaven.

Your little life ended only after only eight weeks with us.  It's been three years since you went to be with Jesus. Oh, how deeply I remember the heartache of losing yet another baby, when babies had been my life long dream.  I didn't think there was much more I could handle in that moment.  Your name was given to you after weeks of searching for a name. It was so hard to find one that I felt suited you.  I believe this fits, Kane means beautiful tribute, golden sunset.

I am writing this letter to let you know you will always hold a special place in my heart.  What a wonderful day it will be when I get to finally hold you in my arms outside of my dreams! I feel so blessed to have had you in my life, even for the short time I did.

Love Mommy

1 comment:

  1. I just shared with Eden and Emerson that they have a brother or sister in heaven - they were surprised and very curious. They definitely understood more than I gave them credit for - and I'm glad I finally told them.

    These letters are beautiful - and were probably very healing for you to write? I should do the same....